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You Must Be a Home Educator If...

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Q: How does a homeschooler change a light bulb?
A: First, mom checks three books on electricity out of the library, then the kids make models of light bulbs, read a biography of Thomas Edison and do a skit based on his life. Next, everyone studies the history of lighting methods, wrapping up with dipping their own candles. Next, everyone takes a trip to the store where they compare types of light bulbs as well as prices and figure out how much change they'll get if they buy two bulbs for $1.99 and pay with a five dollar bill. On the way home, a discussion develops over the history of money and also Abraham Lincoln, as his picture is on the five dollar bill. Finally, after building a homemade ladder out of branches dragged from the woods, the light bulb is installed. And there is light. ~Author Unknown

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Real Homeschool Mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it.

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"Lord, grant me patience, but hurry."
(saying seen on a plaque)

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Why Public Schooling Is "Better" Than Homeschooling

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The first Halloween that I was homeschooling, my children INSISTED that I come to school dressed as an old fashioned school marm ....like out of the old west, with long skirt, string tie, long ruffled sleeves, etc. I let them go to school in costume, too, but their costumes started itching so they quickly changed into their regular clothes. I didn't bother to change, and GUESS WHO decided to come and visit our home school that day? It was one of the teachers at our local school! She took one look at me and said, "Boy, you are really getting fanatical about this homeschool business, aren't you?" I mentioned Halloween, and she didn't buy it. "You mean YOU got a costume, but the kids don't? Sure!" Soon gossip spread all over the school that I was some "crazy homeschooler out of the wild and wooly Arizona desert!" ~Submitted by Katy Cook of Glendale, AZ

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Got this off another list and thought you might enjoy it. :o) Karin

Top 10 Things NOT to say when asked "What?! No school today?"

10. Well normally yes, but this time of year I need help with the planting and plowing.

9. Goodness, no!!! I graduated 18 years ago, but thanks for the compliment!

8. No, we homeschool. We're just out to pick up a bag of pork rinds and some Mountain Dew, then we gotta hurry home to catch our soaps.

7. What?! Where did you guys come from?! Oh my gosh! I thought I told you kids to stay at school! I'm sorry. This happens all the time. (sigh)

6. There isn't? Why, you'd think we would have seen more kids out then, don't you?

5. We're on a field trip studying human nature's intrusive and assumptive tactics of displaying ignorance and implied superiority. Thanks for the peek!

4. On our planet we have different methods of education. (Shhh! No, I didn't give it away... keep your antennae down!)

3. Oh my goodness! I thought that today was Saturday...come on kids, hurry!

2. Noooooope.Me 'n Bubba jes' learns 'em at home. Werks reel good!

And the number one answer we should NEVER give to the question: "What? No school today?"

1. "What? No Bingo today?"

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A Homeschool Mom's NON-Resolutions

1. I resolve to NOT try and make my children "perfect" homeschooling examples.

2. I resolve to NOT try and prove that I am a "perfect" homeschooling parent.

3. I resolve to NOT try and compare myself to every other homeschooling parent.

4. I resolve to NOT give up on expecting the best from myself.

5. I resolve to NOT give up on my students.

6. I resolve to NOT give up on my curriculum without giving it a serious try (2 weeks may not be a serious try - only you can determine what that is!)

7. I resolve to NOT get discouraged when I have bad days, but to call someone on the phone who may encourage me in some way (prayer, a cup of coffee, or just saying "it's okay"!).

8. I resolve to NOT forget to plug into a support group for my support and theirs!

9. I resolve to NOT forget that all Teachers get Teacher Work Days for a reason. You have control over yours. Take them!

10. I resolve to NOT make unbelievable and unacceptable New Year's Resolutions. ~from the "Homeschooler's Notebook"

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http://home.neo.rr.com/edzoo/Homeschooling/mr%20pointy%20nose.htm Mr. Pointy Nose, a silly story about the silly questions homeschoolers endure!

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http://www.geocities.com/mhfurgason/hug/socialization.html
What About Socialization?

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http://www.design-a-website.com/dark.htm The DARK Side of Homeschooling EXPOSED! CBS News tried to find the "dark side of homeschooling," but all they came up with was falsehoods, fear-mongering and faulty logic. Nice try, fellas. But here is a web site that exposes the true dark side of homeschooling. Visit this site, look upon it, and FEAR.

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Send me your submission! Send me your best "You must be a homeschooler if..." statements, funny homeschool anecdotes, homeschool jokes, etc., and I will add them to this page - and give you credit! (Due to space limitations, they must be specifically about the topic of homeschooling.)