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Not Just For Kids
Etiquette & Ethics
"A good moral character is the first essential. It is highly important not only to be learned but to be virtuous." ~George Washington
Etiquette (et' i ket) - the manners established as acceptable in social relations. According to the legendary Emily Post, etiquette is today what it has always been: a code of behavior based on kindness, consideration and unselfishness-something that should not, and will not, ever change. Manners, which are derived from etiquette, must be maintained even in an ever-changing world. The proper behavior that we call etiquette is for everyone at every stage of life, regardless of age, income, or position in society or business. Good manners are as important for the youngest child as they are for the older adult - and that includes teenagers. Before Bill Clinton's generation came on the scene, young people were expected to behave properly, and to demonstrate good manners and morals. For example, it has never been polite to interrupt a conversation between persons older than yourself, unless you have something very important to say. You should gratefully say "I thank you," and not just mumble "thanks," when someone helps you or a kindness is shown to you. It is not polite to frown, sulk, or "talk back" when you are reproved for some neglect or offense. It is not polite to complain of the quality or the quantity of the food which is set before you. Unfortunately, it seems that many modern teens scoff at such rules, as shown in these remarks about etiquette made by several high school students:
"Reliance on, like, a strict set of rules is, kind of, a sign of immaturity, in the sense that you need someone to tell you how to act, that you can't think of your own ways to respect people."
"It's just your personality, and what you want to do, and the way that you want to do it."
"You should be yourself regardless, there should not be a reason for you to act like somebody else wants you to act."
George Washington's first lessons in good breeding came from a book entitled Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation, which listed 110 rules of behavior for young men. The Rules of Civility were originally compiled and published by French Jesuits in 1595. This code of conduct was translated into an English version called Francis Hawkins' Youths Behavior, or Decency in Conversation Amongst Men, and was reprinted at least eleven times between 1640 - 1672. One copy of this English translation came into the hands of George Washington when he was about 16 years old, at his Ferry Farm home near Fredericksburg circa 1744. Washington carefully hand-copied these rules into a notebook, presumably as an exercise in penmanship. At the same time, the rules taught the teenage Washington how to walk, talk, and eat. They also conveyed a moral message, of paying attention to those around you. In the 18th century, the teenage Washington took these rules to heart. While some may make you smile, most are valuable modern-day lessons for us all. The following are 55 selected excerpts:
Ethics: An Early American Handbook, Much attention has recently been focused on ethics and character education. Ethics - the practice of morality - is the foundation of sound character. Soundness of character is, and always has been, crucial for a nation's longevity. An understanding of the principles of ethics was never more needful than it is today. Consequently, children and adults alike will benefit from a reprint of an 1890 textbook on ethics published in 1999 by WallBuilder Press (www.wallbuilders.com). This book contains the lessons that parents once used to instill moral principles in the hearts and minds of their children - in the days when Americans were renowned worldwide for their honesty and trustworthiness. Ethics provides a series of thoughtful lessons on character traits as taught in previous centuries, followed by discussion questions. Although some of the specific examples are quaint and old-fashioned, the ethical principles are timeless, and you can make up your own modern-day hypothetical scenarios. Chapter titles include: Truth - in which you will find out five ways people lie, and why each should be avoided. Profanity - why it is not only offensive, but dangerous. Obedience - why this unpopular virtue is so necessary. Conscience - why you will never be happy if you have a troubled conscience. Conscientiousness - why it's vital to do the best job you possibly can. Forgiveness - the three reactions you can have to being wronged, and why it's so important to forgive. Additional chapters focus on the topics of industry, honesty, fidelity, justice, politeness, gratitude, benevolence, purity, repentance, treatment of enemies, and duty. (Duty to God, duties to parents, duties at school, duties to playmates, and even duties to animals!) This book will hopefully inspire citizens of all ages to improve their own character, which will ultimately improve the character of our whole nation.
21st Century Ethical Toolbox, Anyone interested in learning more about ethics can benefit from this book. It treats ethics not as an academic, historical or theoretical subject, but as a contemporary topic that makes use of a wide range of practical skills. It provides the necessary tools to work out the controversial moral issues of today. The book also includes pertinent selections from essayists, activists, and philosophers. Activities at the end of each chapter provide students, teachers, and laypersons with much food for thought, making this an ideal textbook on ethics. This book is appropriate for introductory ethics courses, at undergraduate level, as well as upper high school level. It may also be used as recommended reading in any course concerned with ethical themes, such as medicine, business or teaching, or as supplementary reading for upper-level ethics courses.
Did You Know…? RECOMMENDED WEBSITES www.history.org/Almanack/life/manners/rules2.cfm (Colonial Williamsburg version of the Rules of Civility, with period illustrations.) http://gwpapers.virginia.edu/civility/rulesindex.html (“The Civility Project: George Washington Meets the 21st Century.” See a digitized facsimile of Washington's original hand-written manuscript, read the complete transcript, and learn more about its history.)
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